one year

It has been one year.

One year since I shouted in my office "Nevermind. I gotta have faith! I know what to do." before hanging up the phone. That afternoon changed everything since. Everything.  If you have not yet had the delightful experience of having everything change, I hope that one day you do. If you have already gone through an everything overhaul, then you know why it has taken me a year to put words to it.

In the span of one afternoon, I experienced the overwhelming rush of faith in God's plan for me, I quit a job I did not love (to be fair, it was mutual), and found myself in a relationship. That was in one afternoon. It kicked off what would become the most heartbreaking, truth-revealing, loving, painful and honest year of my life. Some of that, I will share with you here. And some I will keep just for me.  There are a few things I have learned that I will briefly share with you now. Consider it a sneak peek at the kinds of topics you might expect to find here.

1. God has a plan for me, and you too. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29‬:‭11‬ NIV). A year ago I had no idea the passion that would ignite, or the heartbreak that would insue, but He did. I didn't know how I would get to where I am now, but He did. Which brings us to...

2. I need community. Need is not a strong enough word. Crave. Desire. Can't live without. It is more than that. Community is more than a need, it is my responsibility. Very rarely, I think, do people just plop themselves into our lives. It is my responsibility to reach out. It is my responsbility to be there for my people. It is an honor to be in community to hold the space for someone in joy and in sorrow and, sometimes worst of all, in excruciating questioning.


3. I am clueless. I am a dummy. I have no idea, NO IDEA what God has for me.  I can read all the books, talk to all the people, pray all the prayers or dream any dream and still my tiny pea-brain cannot fathom what is in store.I cannot dream big enough, it is impossible. I can't promise you that I will stop trying to figure it out or quit dreaming, but now I know that my dreams are just something to giggle at when God blows them out of the water with what he has in store. "Now to Him, who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we ask or imagine according to his power at work within us" (Ephesians 3:21).


Those are the big three of the past year. In short, God has a plan, there are others involved, and get out of your own way you dumb, but well meaning, sweet girl. I learned the hard way (isn't that the best way, though? Heaven help me for admitting it). I will keep digging at those things here. Along the way there might be lighter topics, too. I also learned how to cook a few things, paint a few others, and such. The last takeaway from the year is that seriousness is not a fruit of the Spirit, joy is...so maybe some of that lesson should be celebrated here, too.